Whiskey Tim

I wish I could tell you where it began. How it all got started. The moment it clicked. For now, let's just say that it was about 5 years ago. A man on a journey in an unfamiliar city with no clear direction and a couple hundred bucks in his pocket. As this story unfolds, we will learn a lot more about this man and perhaps we can help him answer these key questions: What happened that night? Who was involved? Where did it all go so terribly wrong? What was her name? I can't tell you these answers just yet. But if I can "borrow" a few lines from a genius, what I can tell you is that...

Tim hates you all.

A few things that I've learned on my travels through this crazy little thing called life. One, a morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness. Two, I probably won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister. And three, while I'm down there it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I'm not talking about a huge 70's Playboy bush or anything. Just something that reminds me that I'm performing cunnilingus on an adult. But I guess the larger question is why is this big apple so rotten?
Until next time...

Go Fuck Yourselves,
Whiskey Tim